Its supposed to be different
by love-and-joy
Summary: An AotC speculation...I was just goofing around. Padmé tries to comfort Anakin after a nightmare but reluctantly keeps her guard up. An anidala fic.


**A/N: THIS IS SOMETHING I WISHED TO HAPPEN IN THE CANON, BUT IT ALMOST NEVER DID. IF THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE WITH THE SAME WISH, HOPE YOU'LL LIKE IT...**

 **I don't know why I rated this as I did but hey...sometimes we barely know ourselves, right? Well, I'd really appreciate if you'd drop a review... I wrote this out of thin air so I hope it won't waste your time...**

 **Disclaimer: I have nothing to do with the SW series, it belongs to GL.**

 **On with the story...**

Padmé's POV

A discomfort lingers. Something isn't just right. She doesn't know what, but something's wrong. Padmé jerks awake to a sound. The hair on the back of her neck stand on their ends. Is there someone out to kill her? She throws the covers off. Jumps out of bed. Wide awake. No one's there. She still looks around.

What was that sound? That's when she hears it again. And its not any attacker, its her own protector.

''Anakin!''

His cry becomes ever so slightly more distinct than before. What happened to him? She barely knows when she has started to run. As she reaches the door of his bedroom, Padmé hesitates for a while. Then pushes the door open just a slit. Anakin's fingers curled in the sheets and his breath irregular as he's thrashing around. A small moan escapes his lips. Probably one of his nightmares, he seems to have them so frequently, it must be tormenting.

He goes still before she decides whether she should get in or not. With a sigh, she shuts the door and turns around to leave. She was afraid that he's been engaged in a fight with some assasin of hers, even though this place is pefectly safe, she hasn't gotten over her last attack. When she enters her room, one thing bugs her.

She had heard him screaming out to his mother in his dreams when they were onboard. What if thses aren't just dreams but some sort of...Jedi vision? No. Padmé shakes away the thought. Shmi Skywalker. Anakin's mom. She remembers the kind woman. Force forbid if anything's wrong with her.

Restless, she wraps her rob around her slender frame and walks to the balcony.

 _Just a little fresh air._ She thinks. Well, Anakin's the one who should need some fresh air. She heaves another sigh. The stars twinkle over her, like broken pieces of glasses catching glint of a silver lightsabre's light. There's no moon tonight, otherwise the lakes would be gleaming in its light, and reflecting it back. Almost blindingly.

That's when she hears _his_ muffled cries again. It almost sinks her heart.

They've decided not to fall in love. And that doesn't include Padmé climbing up to bed besides Anakin. But that's not the only reason. She hates to hear him cry out like this. His voice filled with agony.

She finds herself in front of Anakin's room once more. His voice becoming louder.

''Mom! I'm coming-'' his words suddenly cut off by what she doesn't know.

She pushes the door open again, wider this time and bites her lips hard to resist. A part of her still telling her not to get near him. Not to give him false hope. And not to _hurt_ him again.

But that was short lived. She dashes towards him when he starts restlessly, as if fencing with his lightsabre, and flees the bed near to the nightstand, shattering a vase.

''Annie!''

Padmé pulls him into her arms, gauzing her fingers through his hair, darkened with dampness. He takes a moment to differentiate between reality and subconsciousness. Padmé waits anxiously for him to acknowledge her or to say something but he just stares at her.

This of course worries her. Is he okay? A thin sheen of sweat glistens on his tan skin and he presses his lips together. His clean-cut features etched with anguish.

She rocks him gently, making soothing sounds as his breath regains its normalcy. But he doesn't stop trembling. With a ragged breath he pulls his head up off her lap and stares around the room. Trying to calm the tornado inside him.

She can clearly see the terror rummaging him, the way his blue eyes are outcast as well as moist with unshed tears. He craddles his head in his arms for a long time when Padmé summons R2-D2 to fetch a first-aid box.

Anakin has wounded his hands by lashing out at the vase kept on the nightstand. If it continues like that, she's afraid he'd keep well for long. He doesn't seem to be sleeping already, restless nights accompanied by nightmares. Of his mom, _or so she knew._

''Thank you, artoo.'' The droid beeps when Padmé takes the first-aid box from its appendages. ''You can go now.'' The little fellows turns around and swiftly rolls away.

Anakin hasn't spoken to her yet. She tries to keep calm and approach him as gently as possible. When she takes his hands in hers he still doesn't react but at least neither does pull away.

''What did you see?'' She asks softly, cleaning the blood off his hands.

She's thought he's not going to answer just when he begins to speak after what it seems like an eternity.

''I-I saw my mom.'' His voice is thick, he clears his throat as though uncomfortable with it.

''Oh.'' Was the only thing she could say.

An awkward silence fills the air, as she disinfects the cuts on his palms, he hisses slightly when she dabs one of the deeper cuts.

''They...are torturing her.'' Once again he seems to be trying to keep his emotions at bay. But knowing Anakin as she does he could do anything but can't keep his emotions under control.

''I don't get it why they feel so...vivid.'' His Adam's apple bobs up and down once. ''I haven't seen her in...'' He takes another breath as if having difficulty in speaking. ''...in years.''

Padmé wraps the final layers of bandages on his hands. He sweeps his forearm above his eyes.

''What's happening to her?'' He groans, his face twisted in a tired expression. Padmé's eyes soften. She pulls his head to her shoulder, stroking his bare back and twirling his padawan braid around her finger.

''Anakin...''

''Padmé!'' He pushes away and seizes her by the shoulders, for a moment she lets herself be distracted. His tight grasp in her, his eyes desperate and filled with tormenting emotions. ''She'll be alright, na?''

 _How could I say?_

''I guess so...'' She mumbles. He let's her go.

''How could you know?'' He takes in a deep breath as if reading her mind, but its an obvious thing. ''I'm sorry.'' He says. ''I'm sorry, Padmé. But...but I have to go...'' He takes her hands in his, ''I can't go by this even a single day anymore. I have to go to Tatooine...to my mother. I have to see if she's alright. Forgive me.''

''Forgive?'' She says. ''I'm coming with you, Anakin!''

Even if for a split second, his blue eyes sparkle and there she realizes what she's getting herself into.

''We'll set out tommorow. By dawn.'' She immediately pulls up her official manner. And does everything to stop her eyes from spanning down his bare chest. To keep them focus on his face.

And he seems to understand. Though he simply nods she could see the hurt evident in his eyes. She wonders how long? For how long she's to push him away, reject him again and again before he stops trying.

 _He's young._ She thinks. _He'll get over his crush on me. It'll go with time._ Only if it were crush. Which crush lasts for tens years?

''You should get some sleep, Anakin.'' Though she knows he'd rather not when he's finally going to see his mom. That even she has agreed to accompany him.

The previous barrier she had wrapped around her heart comes back up. Not withstanding his condition she straightens up and tugs on her robes in her senatorial manner. He doesn't say a word.

''Good night.'' She says curtly.

''Good night, milady.'' His address to her makes it clear he has understood her gestures.

She walks away. Hardening her heart.

 _I'm sorry, Annie, but you've got understand this is not going to work. Its not. You're not the only one suffering._

 _''He acts like he's not forbidden but he is and you act like you're forbidden when you're not...''_

 _True, Sola. You were right but I do this because I care for him..._

 _Why things are the way they are? It was supposed to be different...it was._

Fighting back her tears Senator Amidala puts on her hard exterior to hide her soft interior.

 **A/N: SO, HERE I AM... FOOLING AROUND AND PLEASE REVIEW... GOOD BYE FOR NOW...MY EXAMS ARE ON...**

 _ **Happy Reading**_

 ** _Love-and-joy..._**


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